Life hands you things that you think you can't handle. But as I sit here and ponder, if we work past the situation handed to us, doesn't that make us stronger? What life would you rather live, the one where you free ride it all the way through, or the one where you prove to yourself and others around you how strong you are. Personally, I used to think that a free ride through life would be great. Just going at my own pace, no structure or rules. But after the last few years of my life, I think that the road less traveled is the way I will go.
So when something is thrown at me, I know that I can take what is given to me and make it into something that I can not only handle, but come out on top. Sometimes things won't be perfect, but nothing in life is exactly "perfect".
When you are handed something you think you can't handle, step back and think about it. Why can't you handle it? Does your mind automatically go into the mode that you aren't strong enough to handle it? You may have been handed every thing you think possible, but there is always something worse that could happen. Be grateful for what you do have. Don't just sit back and let life pass you by without a fight.
Most of the time, the situations that are thrown our way, are the situations that we create, whether or not you think you do. And not everything, obviously if you are dealt with an illness, you didn't create the illness, it just happened. Unless you are a smoker and you get lung cancer or something like that, but otherwise with illness, you can't blame yourself. Stuff happens like that.
But in my case, I created my own situation. I knew the consequences and at the time, didn't think beyond my actions. Which for me, is totally out of character, because normally I am the one overthinking the situation. But for once, I acted immaturely and for that I am currently paying. I put everything on the line and lost so much in such a short period of time.
Instead of retreating, closing the doors and hiding within, this time, I stood up, accepted the consequences and I am now trying to heal and mend those who I hurt. Too many times in my life I have retreated inside myself, making excuses and hiding behind lies. But this time I refuse to do that. This time I am a different person. I will not go back to that person I was a year ago. I didn't like that person then and I really hate who I was now. But I can't change the past, nobody can. I can't change what I did and I can't fix the problems I had. But what I am going to do is be there for the person I hurt the most, try and take time to heal myself and most importantly never stop letting my children have access to their mother.
Christmas is upon us. Take the time to release the demons. Let go of everything over the next few weeks so that when New Years Day is here, you can literally start fresh. Don't worry about what you can't fix, you aren't going to be able to fix everything. You may not like the consequences that come with your demons coming out, but sooner or later they will escape. And it will be a lot easier to deal with everything now, then have it slam into you while you are living life to the fullest. You never know what you can lose until it is already gone.
Life is just that. Life. You can take the easy road, lay flat and never have anything come of your life. Or you can take the road less traveled, have stories to tell along the way and learn things from those you never expected to teach. I think I will stick with the second choice.
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