Back again

I know it has been awhile since I have blogged. Things kind of took over in my life that were more important, school, work, kids, family and me time. I have missed blogging like crazy. I tried to journal for a while, but I hate writing. I can type much faster, and I can type pretty much anywhere I go. For example, this post I am doing from work! I get bored, have a few minutes and quick punch out a few paragraphs and by the end of the day, I have a full post that I can just put on when I get home. I think this is going to be my daily routine now.

So to catch up on family......

Ryan is doing very well. He has enjoyed a summer and so far, a fall full of amazing days to ride his motorcycle. We have gone on a few rides that have really been fun for the two of us to enjoy together. He has kept himself busy with the kids and with extra work on the side. He loves to be outside and I know this winter is going to drive him nuts if it is as bad as last year. But he has his Netflix movies he can watch this year, so I am sure that will keep him occupied during the long cold months that winter is going to be bringing us.

Damon is now in 1st grade.  He is growing up so fast, it takes me by surprise to really see how much he has grown in the last few months.  We finall got school pictures back and to look back at the growth with his three year preschool and now the 1st grade, he has matured from such a little boy, to such a little man. He reads so well now and can really pick up on things like signs and words on boxes at the grocery store. He is constantly reading and trying to learn as much as he can about everything. He loves to play the Wii and the DS. But he would much rather be outside riding his bike! He will be turning seven in a few months, and it is just amazing how my first born is turning into such a good person.  Damon also has a new journey this year, he is starting Boy Scouts! Well, Cub Scouts really, but it still is boy scouts.  I don't approve of the Boy Scout leaders that say certain people aren't allowed to participate, but I want my son to really understand the joys of a troop, the fun they can have using nature, instead of just sitting around playing games all the time. I want him to use his imagination and really have fun with this. He also is starting wrestling this fall and I can't wait to see how well he does with that. I know he has a lot of energy and I think this is something he could easily do to really harness the energy and use it towards a goal.

Lili is now in kindergarten. She is my diva, my princess and my baby. She has grown so much as well, transforming into such a little girl.  She does so well at school and I am so proud of the person she is becoming. Sure, she can be difficult, but boy is she just like her mother. She is very independent and I am proud of that. I don't want her to be dependent on other people. I want her to stand on her own two feet and know the world is hers for the taking. I want her to be proud to be herself and for the most part, I think she is. She is very attached to her cat, Purrsia. She starts Girl Scouts this year and proudly, I am the leader of her troop!!! I am excited for this journey together with her, even if it only lasts for a few years. She played tball for the first time this past summer, and I can already tell she isn't going to be much of a sports person, like Damon. She likes it, but not near as much as her music and dance. Even though I didn't put her in dance class this year, she still does really well at dancing around the house. Maybe this spring I will enroll her.

And now for me.....

Well, I guess for me nothing really has changed much. I am going to keep a surrogacy blog, and will attach it to this one, but I am not sure how I want to do that yet. The journey is so amazing. I really am helping two people who couldn't be more amazing and perfect for me. As much as it sucked, the first try ended in a negative beta. It has been very difficult to deal with that, but things are getting better. I just want this to work so badly for them....that when things don't go as planned, it has been making it harder and harder to push through, but I keep pushing because I didn't have to struggle to have my children. My children were born naturally, with no medications, and it was all really easy.  I push myself because this is not my dream, I want my guys to be dads. I want to see the look on their faces when they are handed their children for the first time. 

So now that I am back to blogging, I can't wait to really tell my story, really get out how I feel instead of just holding it inside. I miss blogging and hoping that I can do a post every day. This is the first, not the last......