Motherhood and Beyond

6 Days of Lili----Diva style

2011-08-28T17:45:00.000-05:00

Lili will be six in just a few days. A friend suggested that I do six days of Lili. Six posts about her and her life so far. I just realized that I should have started on Friday, but I will catch up today and finish out the remaining four days like it should be.

To my daughter Liliann---
Day 1

On the day you were born, I had no idea what type of little girl you would be. When mommy was little, I was a tomboy, I loved to fish and play outside. I loved to get dirty and play with my brothers. So I never imagined that one day you would grow into such a beautiful, fashion diva! One who loves to get her nails and hair done at the salon, wants to put on make up and loves to be in high heels. At first, I was scared. I have no clue when it comes to girly stuff like that. But now, as I see you turning six, I could not ask for a better daughter.
You look so beautiful every day, whether you are wearing jeans or a dress. I love to sit and watch as you get your hair done at the salon. When we went there for your birthday party, there was a wedding party getting their hair done. And the flower girl was just your age. They struggled with her because she didn't like getting her hair done. She kept moving and wiggling. I looked over to you and you were sitting in a perfect pose, chatting up the girl as she did your hair. You looked over and waved, but never broke the stance she asked you to sit in. As you walked to get your nails done, you looked so much older, but so young at the same time. You were stunning. As she did your nails, you didn't flinch. You sat perfectly still and loved every minute of it. The beauty salon girls just loved it!
But as we went out to the park for your birthday I noticed you didn't let the beauty of the day stop you. You rolled down the hill, you played on the slides and you had lots of fun with all the kids that were there. Looking beautiful every step of the way. On this day, I want to celebrate the diva in you. The one who wears high heels, who wants to be crowned Miss America and who no matter what, would choose to get her nails done over going to a movie any day! I hope you never change your beautiful ways. I hope you always love to get pretty and look your best, but still know how to have fun at the end of the day.

Where did summer go?

2011-08-28T11:12:00.000-05:00

It amazes me that we are already in the last week of August. The kids have been in school for almost a full two weeks and the leaves are already starting to lose their deep green color. I work in the manufacturing industry, our company builds boat trailers. The production teams are down to 32 hours a week. And I sit here and think, where in the world did summer go?

I think that maybe we were just so busy that it flew by, but as I look back, we didn't really do that much this summer. We had no vacations, no traveling, nothing that really took a lot of time to make it go fast. As a child, I remember summer being the best time of the year. No bedtime, no school, and swimming every day. We would stay up late with our friends in the back yard playing kick the can or hide and seek. But as an adult, my days are filled with work, and my nights filled with laundry and dishes. For the month of June, we had baseball. Lili had a few fun things during the month of July. And August has been filled with birthdays, school starting and illness. Both of the kids were sick this month, Lili with yet another ear infection and Damon had the flu.

I can't believe that next week will be the beginning of September. Lili will turn 6 on Wednesday and school pictures are already being taken. I really can't believe that summer is almost gone. There were things I still wanted to do. More camping trips I wanted to take and more vacations I wanted to take the kids on. There are national parks I want to see, oceans I want to walk in and beaches I want to lay on. I guess those dreams will have to wait yet another year. So let's break down the last few months of summer:

June----filled with baseball games and hotdogs! We had a lot of fun watching Damon play a few times a week and improve on his skills as a baseball player.

July---filled with beauty and poise. We had so much fun watching Liliann grow as a person, walk across a stage in front of people and dance her heart out. She did such an amazing job at both the Little Miss Heritage Days contest as well as the Miss Ida County Princess pageant. She had a blast at both and here is to hoping next year brings a crown!

August---birthdays, school supplies and laughs. The first week of August we celebrated my 28th birthday by spending the day at Adventureland P ark in Des Moines. We stayed at the hotel and had a great Mexican supper. Then came the first day of school, followed by celebrating Lili's 6th birthday out at Moorehead park.

Well, now that summer is almost coming to a close, I guess it's time to say hello to fall. Time to get ready for football, dance and wrestling!!!! Thinking that as an adult, fall may be my favorite season yet!

Baseball 2011

2011-07-18T20:31:00.000-05:00

Apple pie, Baseball and Fords...what more can be considered American? When I first learned we were having a boy, I never imagined he would love to play sports. Ryan is not into sports, and I really don't get into sports either. So I never thought that we would be sitting at baseball four times a week when he was just 7 years old.

We live in a small town. One that apparently can't get enough people together to have baseball available for younger people. So we went out of town and found Damon a great team! The first few practices were tough, as the other boys on the team had played together for a year. But once he got the hang of it, he fit right in!

They started out with practice four times a week. And then when games started, we had games 2 times a week and practice once a week. And I'm not talking about an hour practice, they were out there for two full hours. The coach had them running the bases, practicing catching pop flies and working on batting. He was a great coach and I hope he comes back next year.

Damon started out a little rough, trying to remember what he had learned in T-ball the year before. But once things really started going, you could tell what his skills would be and where he would have issues. The biggest issue---talking!!! Who would have guessed that???? Because there were older boys on the team, Damon was placed out in the outfield for most of the games. We were fine with that, he has to start at the bottom and work his way up to getting to play a base.
But we noticed that out in the outfield, he would stand there and talk to the other kids around him. There were even a few times where had he been paying attention, the ball would have been his to put back into play. But because he was not paying attention, he missed the ball and missed a good opportunity to show the coach he knew what he was doing.

But as the season went on, he grew better at not talking (or dancing) out in the outfield. And I guess that a few talks with the coach probably helped as well!

They didn't keep score at the games, though I know the boys in the dugout were out there counting whenever they scored. And of course Damon was out there making sure that when his team scored, he knew that they had a point. He was very interested in making sure they won. And when they didn't win, it was because the other team cheated. Oh to be 7 again.

This is his team picture. The head coach is on the right, with the assistant coach on the left. Damon is down front, right in the middle!

The season ended at the end of June with a great win over Charter Oak-Ute. And even Damon said he was ready for the season to be done. But then again, a week later he was asking already for more baseball!!!

Free Birthday Clubs

2011-05-01T17:59:00.000-05:00

Sign up and on your birthday receive free food!!! List taken from SweepsAdvantage website.

http://www.sweepsadvantage.com/smf/birthday-clubs-t42402.0.html

Amato's: http://list-manage.com/subscribe.phtml?id=1e6408a823

Austin Grill: http://www.austingrill.com/austingrillee/index.php?/austin_grill_main/join/

Baja Fresh: http://www.bajafresh.com/subscribemain.jsp

Baskin-Robbins: http://www.baskinrobbins.com/bdayclub/registerinfo1.aspx

BD's Mongolian Grill: http://www.fishbowl.com/clt/bdscrp/lp/wb/join.asp

Ben & Jerry's: http://www.benjerry.com/our_company/contact_us/forms/chunk_spelunker/index.cfm

Bennigan's: http://www.fishbowl.com/clt/bnngns/lp/join_new/join.asp

Black Angus Steakhouse: http://www.blackangus.com/PrimeClub.htm

Bob Evans: https://kids.bobevans.com/birthday.asp

Buca di Beppo: http://www.bucadibeppo.com/eclub/

Burger King: https://leadws.privolock.com/startRegistration.do?method=startRegistration&siteId=27

California Pizza Kitchen: http://www.cpk.com/register/cpkids.aspx

Captain D's: http://www.fishbowl.com/clt/cptnd/lp/join/join.asp

Carrows: http://www.carrows.com/eClub/go.php?pid=su

Charlie Brown's: http://65.86.161.70/hscver2007/hscenroll1.shtml

Cheeseburger in Paradise: http://www.cheeseburgerinparadise.com/keepintouch.aspx

Chili's Grill & Bar: http://www.fishbowl.com/clt/chlscrp/lp/join/join.asp

Cold Stone Creamery: http://www.coldstonecreamery.com/mycs/myCS_pub_home.aspx

Dairy Queen: http://www.blizzardfanclub.com/join/

Damon's Grill: http://www.damons.com/eclub.cfm

Denny's: http://www.dennys.com/LiveImages/enProductImage_334.pdf

Del Taco: http://www.deltaco.com/page8.html

Famous Dave's: http://www.fishbowl.com/clt/famdvs/lp/join/chooseLocation.asp

Fazoli's: http://fazolis.fbmta.com/members/UpdateProfile.aspx?Action=Subscribe

Firehouse Subs: http://firehousesubs.com/birthday/

Friendly's: http://www.friendlys.com/utility/email_agesubmit.aspx

Fuddrucker's: http://www.fuddsclub.com/

Ghirardelli: http://www.ghirardelli.com/about/specials_chocomail.aspx

Glory Days Grill: http://www.fishbowl.com/clt/glydys/lp/join/join.asp

Gold Star Chili: http://www.fishbowl.com/clt/gsc/lp/join/join.asp

Hard Times Cafe: http://www.fishbowl.com/clt/hrdtms/lp/wb/join.asp

Islands Restaurants: http://tikilink.islandsrestaurants.com/forms/register.pl

J&R's Steakhouse (Long Island): http://www.jandrssteakhouse.com/atmt40/default.asp

Joe's Crab Shack: http://www.fishbowl.com/clt/jcs/lp/join/join.asp

Lone Star Steakhouse & Saloon: http://www.lonestarsteakhouse.com/files/home.aspx

Macaroni Grill: http://macaronigrill.mx0.net/s?xcHccWcHH&email=capthowdy777@optonline.net

Maggiano's Little Italy: http://www.fishbowl.com/clt/mggns/lp/join/join.asp

Medieval Times: http://www.medievaltimes.com/birthday.php

Melting Pot, The: http://www.themeltingpotclubfondue.com/signup.cgi

Moe's Southwest Grill: http://www.moes.com/newsletter.aspx

Muer Seafood Restaurants: http://muer.com/

Noodles & Company: http://noodles.prm1.net/noodlegram/

O'Charley's: http://www.fishbowl.com/clt/ochrl/lp/join_new/join.asp

Old Country Buffet: http://www.fishbowl.com/clt/buffets/lp/join/join.asp

On The Border Mexican Grill & Cantina: http://clubcantina.ontheborder.com/clients/ontheborder/survey.htm

Orange Julius: http://www.fishbowl.com/clt/oj/lp/join/join.asp

Perkins: http://endlesssavings.com/web-promotion/registration.php

Qdoba Mexican Grill: http://www.qdoba.com/Email.aspx

Quiznos: http://www.quiznos.com/offers/index.aspx

Red Lobster: https://freshcatch.redlobster.com/clients/redlobster/survey.htm

Red Robin: http://apps.fishbowl.com/a/redrobin/join/agegate.asp

Rockfish: http://www.fishbowl.com/clt/rckfsh/lp/join.asp

Rookies, All American Pub & Grill: http://www.rookiespub.com/registration.aspx

Shoney's: http://shoneys.com/signup.html

Sonic: http://wackypack.kidsbirthdayclub.com/

Spicy Pickle: http://spicypickle.fbmta.com/members/UpdateProfile.aspx?Action=Subscribe&InputSource=W

Steak & Ale: http://www.fishbowl.com/clt/stkale/lp/join/join.asp

Subway: http://www.subwayfreshbuzz.com/forms/buzz_me.aspx

T.G.I. Friday's: http://echo.bluehornet.com/clients/tgifriday/survey.htm

Texas Roadhouse: http://www.fishbowl.com/clt/txrdh/lp/join/join.asp

Tony Roma's: http://www.fishbowl.com/clt/tnyrms/lp/join/join.asp

Survey Sites that are good!

2011-05-01T16:13:00.000-05:00

Sites to stay away from!

2011-05-01T15:50:00.000-05:00

If you are one that likes to do surveys, contest, and wants to earn money from home. I have gotten a list of places that you want to stay away from. These places are known not to pay, have issues or just be invalid.

I got this information from a site that I belong to. Here is the link to his post, I just want to share with all of my readers in case they aren't a member of this site:

http://www.sweepsadvantage.com/smf/sites-to-stay-away-from-most-reasons-listed-t23662.0.html

1
100cents-1000dollars.com
100-dollars-mail.com
100dollarsmails.com
1-800-Mail.com
1stprofit.com"""
g

2
200dollars-email.com
200dollarsmail.com
20dollarsmail.com
200eurocent-200euro.com
200euromails.com
25dollarsmail.com
25-dollars-mail.com
2dollaremails.com**

3
300dollarsmail.com*
30dollarsmail.com
37-21mail.com

4
400dollarsmail.com*

5
500cents-500dollars.net
500cents-500dollars.org
500pounds-and-500pence.com
50centptr.com*
50dollarsmail.com
520Searcher.com***

6
60euromail.com

7
7centsolos.com

8
8cent-emails.com
80euromail.com

A
aaa-mails.com
ad-fortune.com
ahacash.com
allcashmail.com
allyousubmitters.com**
alwayspay.com
american-mails.com
amigoemail.com***
annies-biz.com**
apachemails.com""
applemails.com
apollomails.com***
arcane-mails.com
auction-emails.com""
avant-cash.com***

B
babyloncash.com
bank-mails.com
beehivemails**
best-hyip.be*
beta-cash.com
bettybucks.com"
bigdollar-mails
biggestdollars.com
boffopaidmail.com*
bondjamesbond.net""**
bugcash.com"""

C
cannabismails.com
cash4hits.com"""**
catch-cash.com
cash-kitty.com"""
cashnclicks.com"""
cashorigin.com***
cashpointclicks.com""
cashread.com**
cashsea.com*
catch-cash.com
cclass-act-clicks.com***
clickbuxx.com"""
clickingmoney4u.com"""
cloudmails.com
cooperatemail.com***
copymails.com*
cosmicwealth.com**
cowboy-mail.com
cream-mails.com

D
deepseacash.com"""
delta-cash.com
dollar-factory.com
dollarslove.com
dolphincents.com
dragone-search.com""
dragonhole.com
dreamstarmail.com
dungeonanddragonemails.com"""

E
email2rewards.com**
emailpremium.com""
emailprofit.us""
emailspayu.net""
emails-empire.com
enjoyfunds.com***
eurocentsmail.com*

F
fairydollars.com
farland-cash.com***
fillmyaccount.com"""
fillmyinbox.com"""
flashrich.com
funkycashmail.com"""

G
gamma-cash.com
gem-mail.com
getpaidbyemail.com""
getpaideasy.com
getpaidwatch.com"""
giga-cash.com
gladiator.ws""
goddessptr.com***
goldenemail.com""
golfmails.com
goodluck-email.com*
google-mails.com
green-cash.com "
greetgold.com***

H
halfmillionmails.com
happyearning.com
haulingcash.com"
hellotomy.com""
holiday-mails.com***
hollywood-mail.com""
honestmails.com
huge-mails.com
husky-mails.com

I
ice-mails.net""
innotime-cash.com***
ilikemails.com"""
ippomails.com
itsptp.com***

J
jays-paidmail.com
job-readmail.com*
junglecash.com"""

K
kitcatcash.com"""
klikini.net"

L
laberbidbiz.com***
lightstarmail.com
linkread.com
littleengineptr.com"""
logans-legacy.com"
lolclicks.com

M
magnetismail.com
malisanko-emails.com
mangoemails.com
many-mails.com
maystromails.com
medal-mails.com
mega-ptr.com
meggarichemails.com
mellow-mails.com
metal-emails.com
metalpaidread.com
meteor-mails.com
michellesrandomizer.com"""
million-mails.com
millionaire-mail.com
mimimcash.com
mistyandsamscash.com"
moneybagsmail.com*
moneyems.com
moneymouser.com"""
moneys-bank.com
mygpt.com***
mushroom-mails.com
mysweetheartmail.com

N
nature-mails.com
netgold4u.com*
number-emails.com
numenmail.com

O
ohomails.com
onedollarmail.com
one-mails.com*
oneperson-mail.com
orangemails.com*
ourpaidmail.com**
oursharedsuccess.com
outstandingmail.com***

P
paidbizopmail.com**
paidmail.ru*
paidmailengine.com***
paidstation.com
paidsolos.com**
paidworld.com"""
payyou123.com***
payyoudollar.com*
perfect-emails.com
pekincash.com***
petromails.com***
pizzamails.com
platinum-investment.com*
platinum-mails.com""
polarbearmails.com
prettyptr.com*
profitfrommails.com
ptr4you.net
puppypaid2clicks.com"""

Q
quality-profits.com***

R
rainbow-mails.com
realmails.com
rivermails.com
rosenet-emails.com

S
scarlettmails.com
sea-mails.com*
secret-mails.net*
seekcashmail.com***
sepooq.com
silvanamails.com***
siteclubemail.com
smile-email.com""
solarclick.com"""
solomaniac.com
southmails.com""
sprint-cash.com
spidermanemails.com""
strongptr.com*
studio-mail.com*
sunday-mails.com
sunflowersptr.com*
super-program.com""
superstarmail.com
surforhits.com"""
surprisemails.com"""
symantec-mail.com*
systemmails.com

T
tango-mambo.com""
tendollarsmail.com
teneuromail.com
thegoldcave.com
thegoldmail.com***
goldenemail.net***
timelessearn.com
tnt-e-mail.com"""
tombmailer.com"""
tons-referrals.com""
topdollaremails.com**
trade-mails.com
trafficool.com***
trustfulmail.com***
twodollarsmail.com
tycoonmails.com*

U
united-empire.com
universalclix.com.br*
usa-canada-email.com

V
viper-clicks.com"""

W
webbercash.com
windsnowstory.com***
wingmails.com
woo-mails.com
worldwidemails.com"""

Any sites belonging to Michelle Thompson
Any sites belonging to Evely Turner
Any sites belonging to Steve Allen

* = Unlicensed Cash Crusader site
** = Boycotted Sites from gptboycott.com
*** = IFrame Cheater (invisible pages to fraud search engines!)

" = (Far) behind with payouts
"" = Site from Dragon Team, knowing of not paying!
""" = Site from clickbuxx-Team, well known of not paying!

May could be the month!

2011-04-09T15:16:00.000-05:00

Surrogacy has been a part of my life since July of 2006. I look back and realize we are creeping up on the anniversary of the day surrogacy came into my life. And wow....5 years already I have been in the surrogacy world. It changed my life, it changed who I am today. It has made me a stronger person. It has made me a more open person.

And one year ago next week, will be the anniversary of when my guys and I first started talking. I look back to a few of our first emails and realize how much our relationship has changed. We went from two completely different couples, to very close friends. I love them as if they had been in my life for years.

After two failed transfers, I am scared yet excited for the third. I want this to be the one that works. I don't want to keep trying. I want to make them daddies. Their goals and dreams are on the line. As a surrogate, it is very hard not to think that something is wrong with my body. Though I look back and know that I have never had issues becoming pregnant. When Jan and Doug came and we did the IUI, the doctor asked about using a medication that increased the chances of a pregnancy. We both felt that no was a good answer. They did not want multiples, and I didn't want to carry multiples. Two weeks after the IUI, as I sat listening to the nurse on the phone say that I was pregnant, I knew that my body was fertile and was born to be pregnant.

I never questioned my fertility after the first failed transfer. There was a lot going on and I honestly just felt as though that wasn't the one. I knew every time I peed on a stick it was going to be stark white. No matter how badly I wanted it to have two lines, in my heart I knew I wasn't pregnant. The second transfer was harder to handle. We changed the scenario going from a 5 day transfer to a 3 day transfer. We switched from fresh to frozen. I honestly had every positive feeling in my body throughout the entire time. I felt pregnant. I felt as though it had worked. And when the nurse called me at work and said that there was a beta of just 1, my heart sank. I really honestly felt as though they screwed up. Maybe it was a 10 and the lab tech forgot to type the zero. But after 4 more home pregnancy tests, I knew that it didn't work. Though for a few days, I held onto the hope that maybe it would change. Maybe it was a late bloomer, my body was a lower HcG producer, maybe that was it. But sadly, AF showed and I knew it was gone.

Never have a felt like more of a failure. Sitting there in the bathroom, knowing that my IF's dreams were going down the drain is such a horrible feeling. I hated the fact that my body wasn't doing what it was supposed to. But after reading and researching IVF a bit more, I came to realize that sometimes, it isn't the carrier's issue. Chemically something is going right. The embryo is failing, not my body.
And after long talks with the RE, my IF's and myself, we all decided to go one more round. This time, new egg donor, back to a fresh transfer and a new start. I feel so good about this time. I am staying positive and I know it will work. I am ready to be pregnant. I see everyone around me who is pregnant, some are ready to deliver and it brings me back to September, our first transfer, and how we would be delivering in just a few months time. Or if January had taken, I would be just a little over 4 months along, and my belly would start to show.

But as the saying goes, everything happens for a reason. I look back and think about September and realize that had it taken, I would be delivering during the most busiest time of the year for my work. I would be leaving all of my important duties to my coworkers, making them work longer hours, covering in my absence. Or, it makes me feel as though my work would fire me, let me go and get someone else to cover while I was gone. So there are silver linings in even the worse situations. And when I think about January, it would have us delivering in October. October is the month that Kyle was born. While it would be neat to have them share the same month, I want October to stay special. That month belongs to Kyle. So as I look forward to the future, I think positive. I have a really good feeling that May is going to be a great month!!!

I am so lucky to be a surrogate. I am so proud of the beautiful child I brought into the world for a couple that were unable to do so themselves. I look at the many pictures I get and just smile knowing that I brought him life. I do see bits of myself in him, but I don't feel motherly towards him at all. I love Kyle and we will always have a special bond. But he is not my son. He is Jan and Doug's son. He looks so much like his father!!! I just love his smile and his cute hair!!

That dream is what I want to become reality for my IF's. They are such amazing people. They do small things that I never thought possible. When I was down there the first time, E even carried my purse as it was quite heavy with my camera and traveling stuff while we did some walking in Mexico City. They help me through doors, carry things for me. When we first arrived, they had flowers and huge hugs for us. It was just plain amazing. My heart breaks when I leave, but I know that they think always of us here in Iowa as we do of them. I honestly could not have gotten more lucky with this match. We have so much in common, we can stay up and talk for hours about, well just about anything. I can't wait until they come to Iowa and get to see how boring it really is! LOL We always joke about how boring it is here compared to Mexico City. And I can't wait to go back. This time.....it is going to work and close to Father's Day I will get to announce to them that they are going to be daddies!!!!!

Weather Spotter

2011-04-07T20:44:00.000-05:00

Cobb Park, early fall 2010

Sun beam through the clouds,

When I was a young girl, I had always had a fascination with weather. At 15, I would stand outside when severe weather was approaching and take picture after picture. And that was before the digital camera, so I had to pay to get my shots developed after I ran out of film. And I could easily use one camera (the disposable ones) per storm. I can't remember how old I was when the movie Twister came out, but I immediately became addicted. To this very day I can recite almost the entire film by heart. Although I know the movie is fake, the storm chasers are so very real, and are becoming more and more popular each year.

home and really thought I was head over heels in love with my first every real boyfriend. Now 10 years later, even though I didn't go to school to get into meteorology, I still have an opportunity to become a storm spotter and I am THRILLED!!!!!!

So I thought I would do a quick blog post, show off some pictures so I can link it to the people who are looking at choosing me. Also, I wanted to link my blog to different websites, really get my pictures out there. Photography is something of a passion of mine, more than a hobby really. I love to take pictures, mostly of nature. I am not a people person-I hate trying to stage shots. I would much rather take the camera on a drive out to the country and see what I can find. So enjoy the pictures!!!

Wow...how sad

2011-03-08T15:46:00.000-06:00

Wow...how sad that it has been over 3 months since my last post. And I want to call myself a writer some day. I mean how terrible is it that I can't even keep my blog up to date??? Well...I guess the life of a mom really does keep me busy even to a point that I can't blog when I want to!

Update time...since it has been 3 months, better get this done.....

Damon has been enjoying wrestling. That isn't even the right word, he has loved it. Every weekend (well pretty much) we have went on a journey to a tournament for Damon. I knew he was good, but I never knew how technical he really could get when he put his heart into it. The strongest warrior can be great, but must have the heart behind the talent. Even the best guy can be beat by someone who wants it more. Damon is that kind of wrestler. He truly puts his heart and soul into what he does and in that way, he is exactly like his momma. I can tell in his eyes when he is pumped, when he is tired, when he is ready to just give up, but won't because he knows that champions never forfeit.   This past weekend we took him to Super PeeWee State Wrestling in Waterloo, Iowa. It was so much fun to run away for a weekend, crash at a nice hotel for a few nights and do some wrestling. Damon lost his first match, technically the most important one. He lost by points. His second match he pinned the kid in 19 seconds. It was awesome! Then the third match we ended up with a kid that has been wrestling 2 more years than Damon and travels around the Midwest in Nationals tournaments. He was good and beat Damon 11-1. Our day of wrestling was done, but after a quick nap, we went swimming, had some good food and just had some fun at the hotel. We are all bummed that wrestling season is over, but can't wait until next year. If money is good, I want to put Damon in the team called the Predators. They are awesome and what Damon needs to excel in wrestling. The Mat Rats are a good local team, but the first 2 months are spent with 50 plus kids trying to learn moves and he didn't pick anything up until later in the season. I want Damon to focus and learn how to take that focus and transform it into good technical wrestling. We are heading into soccer season now and Momma is excited to be cheering from the sidelines again!!!

Lili will begin her first year of soccer as well. She is excited and can't wait to play with her big brother. She has been such a little cheerleader throughout wrestling season, I am surprised she wasn't down on the mat with the boys as much as she practiced with Damon. Though in my heart I know she is too fragile, she hates pain and does not like to be held down. Instead of fighting back, she screams, a death scream that will make you want to cover your ears and hide under a pillow. So I would rather not put her into wrestling only to hear that scream as she is being pinned. But who knows, maybe she will surprise us next year! We had a scare a few weeks ago when Lili's cat, Purrsia, got out. She was gone for almost a full 2 weeks. One night on a walk down the street, Damon overheard a cat meowing and Lili recognized it as Purrsia's voice. They tracked it into a neighbor's garage and Ryan was able to get her out. She is now back home, healthy and safe. Lili is very afraid of letting her go and is constantly making sure that she doesn't get out again. Her year of Kindergarten is going very well and really likes school. Though I am sure she would much rather be at home playing school so she can be in charge of everything that happens. Lili is very much like me in that way, likes things done her way. Its quite cute at times, but at other times...WATCH OUT!!

Ryan and I are doing great. We just bought a new 2006 Chrysler Pacifica. Its beautiful and just awesome to drive. The color is red. It has a 6-disc cd changer, which for those of you that know me, know that this was a huge improvement. I love music but I am constantly changing CD's while driving. This lets me put in my favorite 6 CD's and I can change them with just a touch of a button. The kids love the new vehicle, though I am unsure of what to call it. The brand is considered a crossover. It is not quite a minivan, but not an SUV either. So for now, its a stationwagon I guess LOL. I don't know what else to call it!

Ryan is getting excited about driving his bike again. He has already taken it out twice when the weather allowed it. He is getting ready to be out on the road again and I know he is anxious for the weather to finally be nice again.

As for me and surrogacy....well, we are going for round three. I almost didn't think it would happen, but we decided to try with a new egg donor and I am so ready to get knocked up!!! I have seen so many people get pregnant lately or give birth and it just makes me want it sooooo much more. I can't wait to see the look on their face when I tell them we are pregnant. And for that moment when we are in delivery, as they watch their first child being born, it brings such a warmth to my heart knowing that because of me, they are able to be parents. So right now we have chosen a new egg donor (well, we are in that process this week) and hopefully will be transfering in May! I want to say April, but I just don't know if we can make it that quickly or not with the middle of March fast approaching.
Also in the surrogacy world I have recently been named the host for the JustMommies message board for the surrogate mommies. I am super excited to have this position and while I know there aren't many who belong to this board, I hope to be able to spread the positive word regarding surrogacy and help those who need answers to their questions. I want to be able to be a positive image for surrogacy and hope that in the next few years, I can strengthen in that position. I want to write a book about being a surrogate and maybe a fiction novel on surrogacy in general. I want to write a positive story and a negative story, one that shows how things can go wrong. That is my dream anyways!!

Well...for now...that is all. I have this setup at work now so hopefully I can blog on my break and start getting this show on the road!!!

2011 is finally here

2011-01-01T17:13:00.000-06:00

Sadly, my last post was in October. I can't believe how I have let this thing go!!!! I am such a writer that when I don't write, it makes me feel really lazy! So my new year's resolution is to take care of this blog and get to 30 followers by December. I know you are thinking, that isn't very many. But I am setting my goal low so I don't put it out of reach. I am currently at 14, so that is almost double what I would have now.

I guess the biggest thing is to make sure I pick a theme and write about it. My blog has kinda gotten out there and really just pushed everything together. I have surrogacy, my family, work, free stuff, work at home stuff. I don't have things organized and the reason I don't and can't get any followers is because I don't offer anything really of importance.

So to start off the new year right, I think I am going to sit down tonight and really think about what I want to write about. I am passionate about many things. This blog will be for my life, my family, my friends, work and everything else that goes with being a mom, wife, sister, daughter and friend. I am going to setup a new blog linked with this one for the one thing I am going to write passionately about. So hang on for the ride, 2011 is finally here!!!!!!!!!

Back again

2010-10-24T20:25:00.001-05:00

I know it has been awhile since I have blogged. Things kind of took over in my life that were more important, school, work, kids, family and me time. I have missed blogging like crazy. I tried to journal for a while, but I hate writing. I can type much faster, and I can type pretty much anywhere I go. For example, this post I am doing from work! I get bored, have a few minutes and quick punch out a few paragraphs and by the end of the day, I have a full post that I can just put on when I get home. I think this is going to be my daily routine now.

So to catch up on family......

Ryan is doing very well. He has enjoyed a summer and so far, a fall full of amazing days to ride his motorcycle. We have gone on a few rides that have really been fun for the two of us to enjoy together. He has kept himself busy with the kids and with extra work on the side. He loves to be outside and I know this winter is going to drive him nuts if it is as bad as last year. But he has his Netflix movies he can watch this year, so I am sure that will keep him occupied during the long cold months that winter is going to be bringing us.

Damon is now in 1st grade. He is growing up so fast, it takes me by surprise to really see how much he has grown in the last few months. We finall got school pictures back and to look back at the growth with his three year preschool and now the 1st grade, he has matured from such a little boy, to such a little man. He reads so well now and can really pick up on things like signs and words on boxes at the grocery store. He is constantly reading and trying to learn as much as he can about everything. He loves to play the Wii and the DS. But he would much rather be outside riding his bike! He will be turning seven in a few months, and it is just amazing how my first born is turning into such a good person. Damon also has a new journey this year, he is starting Boy Scouts! Well, Cub Scouts really, but it still is boy scouts. I don't approve of the Boy Scout leaders that say certain people aren't allowed to participate, but I want my son to really understand the joys of a troop, the fun they can have using nature, instead of just sitting around playing games all the time. I want him to use his imagination and really have fun with this. He also is starting wrestling this fall and I can't wait to see how well he does with that. I know he has a lot of energy and I think this is something he could easily do to really harness the energy and use it towards a goal.

Lili is now in kindergarten. She is my diva, my princess and my baby. She has grown so much as well, transforming into such a little girl. She does so well at school and I am so proud of the person she is becoming. Sure, she can be difficult, but boy is she just like her mother. She is very independent and I am proud of that. I don't want her to be dependent on other people. I want her to stand on her own two feet and know the world is hers for the taking. I want her to be proud to be herself and for the most part, I think she is. She is very attached to her cat, Purrsia. She starts Girl Scouts this year and proudly, I am the leader of her troop!!! I am excited for this journey together with her, even if it only lasts for a few years. She played tball for the first time this past summer, and I can already tell she isn't going to be much of a sports person, like Damon. She likes it, but not near as much as her music and dance. Even though I didn't put her in dance class this year, she still does really well at dancing around the house. Maybe this spring I will enroll her.

And now for me.....

Well, I guess for me nothing really has changed much. I am going to keep a surrogacy blog, and will attach it to this one, but I am not sure how I want to do that yet. The journey is so amazing. I really am helping two people who couldn't be more amazing and perfect for me. As much as it sucked, the first try ended in a negative beta. It has been very difficult to deal with that, but things are getting better. I just want this to work so badly for them....that when things don't go as planned, it has been making it harder and harder to push through, but I keep pushing because I didn't have to struggle to have my children. My children were born naturally, with no medications, and it was all really easy. I push myself because this is not my dream, I want my guys to be dads. I want to see the look on their faces when they are handed their children for the first time.

So now that I am back to blogging, I can't wait to really tell my story, really get out how I feel instead of just holding it inside. I miss blogging and hoping that I can do a post every day. This is the first, not the last......

Working from Home Series, part 2 Surveys C-E

2010-07-11T19:14:00.000-05:00

Two weeks has passed since my last blog post. For that I apologize. Life has been hectic, I work 12 hours a day, come home to TBall or swimming for the kids, then supper, baths and bed for them. Then I log into my online college courses, do homework and crash around 1am. Only to get up at 7 and do the same thing again the next day.

Finally things are starting to slow down and I am able to catch up where I last left off. So in the second part of the series, I am going more into the world of surveys.

My mother introduced me to surveys before I had kids. I was bored at home with just a part time job and needing something to keep me busy while I was at home. So I started doing the surveys that she did. I created accounts of my own and doing surveys every day for weeks. I had points racked up, got some great prizes and even won a GPS unit from one of them.

So here is the next set of survey sites that I think you should check out if you are looking for some extra income or some great ways to earn things like gift cards or gear for your house. I do not belong to all of these, but most I do. Some pay with cash, some pay with points in which you trade in for things like gift cards or gifts. This list will go from the letter C to the letter E.

om ©
Clear Voice Surveys
http://www.clearvoicesurveys.com/
Clarion Web Panel
http://www.clarionresearch.com/webpanel.htm
Clorox Advisors
https://www.cloroxadvisors.com/login.aspx
Caregivers Advisory Panel(TCAP®)
http://www.caregiversadvisorypanel.com/panel_portal.htm
Consumerviews
http://www.consumerviews.com/
Digital Research Panel
https://digitalresearch.com/digitalr...anel/join.html
Doggie Fun Product Testing Site
http://www.doggiefun.com/critiques/criticsignup.html
Drug Voice
http://www.drugvoice.com/
Datatelligence Online
http://www.datatelligence.net/
Elite Opinion
http://www.eliteopinion.com/index.html
e-focus
e-Rewards Survey Site
http://www.e-rewards.com/home.do
E-Poll
http://www.epollsurveys.com/epoll/cl...q.htm?cid=3465
Esearch
http://www.esearch.com/
Epinions
http://www.epinions.com/ T

Working From Home Series, part 1 SURVEYS

2010-06-25T23:48:00.000-05:00

Many people have asked me how to find the work at home things that I participate in. So I thought I would put something up for all you mommies out there in cyber-land to get you in on the goods!!!

First things first, never EVER pay to work. If it is legitimate, you shouldn't be paying to work. In some cases like Avon or Beachbody you have to pay monthly dues to have access to their marketing tools and websites. But in cases of mom's wanting to stay at home, you shouldn't be paying a website to work. Also, never give out any information unless you can verify that the information is going to a source that is important and trustworthy.

So this post will be the first in a series of work at home ideas. I will start simple, only because I don't have a huge amount of time tonight. So this series is going to be based on surveys and the ones that are worth taking, the crap ones and the really super amazing ones to get in on. I of course, will be benefiting from this post because all links that I will be providing are my personal links. So when you click and sign up, I will get something in return. This is a huge impact in the survey community and this his how many people get so much out of these survey companies. By signing up everyone on their Facebook account gives them tons of points and all of that. Many survey companies will only give you so many referrals now so I will post my links and no matter what they will give you access to the information, and I will get my maximum amount of referrals to the company.

Okay so here is the list of current survey companies who allow you to sign up and take surveys. These surveys are sent to you via email, postal mail and some are even over the phone. This list is from A-B. I am trying to break it into groups so my posts aren't lost in links!

4myopinion
http://www.4myopinion.net/
20/20 Research
http://www.2020research.com/
Advanced Focus
http://www.advancedfocus.com/index.htm
AC Nielsen's Homescan Consumer Panel
http://www.homescansignup.com/homescan/index.html
Avery Advisors
http://www.averyadvisors.net/avery/index.html
Alpha Buzz
http://www.alphabuzzgroup.com
Advantage Research
http://www.advantageresearch.net/home.htmcom ©
Altests
http://alatest.com/pages/about/en_GB/
American Consumer Opinion
http://www.acop.com/information.aspx©
Acronis Beta Testing
http://www.acronis.com/enterprise/su...ing/index.html
AnswerNet MRC
http://mrc.answernet.com/
Adept
http://www.giveusyouropinions.com/
Atkins Research Group Inc.
http://www.atkinsresearchinc.com/
Adler-Weiner Research • Focus Groups in Chicago, IL and Los Angeles, CA.
http://www.awres.com/
Amplitude Research
http://www.ampupnow.com/
AOL Opinion Place
http://www.opinionplace.com/main.adp?
Advocate Advisory Panel
http://www.advocateadvisorypanel.com...6&hf=17331.txt
African American Voice
http://www.theafricanamericanvoice.c...mmtx&cid=CD713
Boulder Focus Center • Focus Groups in Boulder, CO.
http://www.boulderfocuscenter.com/Baker Street Solutions
http://www.bakerstsolutions.com/
Big Fish Games ~ Computer Gaming Surveys & Research
http://bigfishgames.signup.sgizmo.com
Brand Institute
http://www.brandinstitute.com/
Beta Research Corporation
http://betapanel.com/Panel/BRC/ix.asp?Force=True
BeginSurvey Inc.
http://www.beginsurvey.com/beginsurvey/
Blarry House Research
http://www.blarry.com/home_f.html
Bellwether Surveys
http://www.bellwethersurveys.com/
BuzzBack
http://www.buzzback.com/
BRX Research
http://www.brxresearch.com/
Buzzsponge
http://home.buzzsponge.com/

Start Rite Shoes!!!

2010-06-23T22:53:00.001-05:00

Since my children could walk the biggest problem we have had is finding shoes that not only fit, but look good and last a long time. I am never worried about brand names with my kids, but more worried about quality. My kids are constantly on the go, outside riding bikes, playing at recess and taking walks with me and Ryan. And trying to find shoes that are not only comfortable but last a while is such a hard thing to do especially in Ida Grove.

We have one shoe store and the prices are unreal. I can't afford $70 shoes for my kids, especially when they out grow them in less than 6 months and the shoes just don't stay nice enough to spend that much money on. The only other place in town that sells shoes is a place called Pamida. This is like a pre-Walmart type of store. They have nice shoes, but the quality is not great and the prices are not really that great either. Sometimes you can get them on sale, but they last like four months and start to fall apart. I cannot have my children's shoes falling apart when they are constantly on their feet! I need strong support for their growing little toes!!!

So I was told to check out this website: http://startriteshoes.com/
These shoes are AMAZING!!!! Just check out some of the cute styles they have for not only girls but boys as well! And the selection is just awesome. You can find shoes for every event, from school shoes to rain boots! The prices are great, the selection is even better and they have these awesome sales that really get you some good deals. Right now there is even a contest to win free shoes for a YEAR. I am not joking, free shoes for a YEAR!

As a mom, you can't get better than good shoes at great prices with the best selection around! You can order shoes and have them shipped to just about any part of the world you want! So if you are looking for some great shoes, great prices with great quality, check out the website. I am glad that I did and I can't wait for the shoes to get here! Lili even picked out her own pair to wear. Oh yea...and if you worry about sizing, they even have a tool that you can get to size your child's feet at home!!! No more sitting in those uncomfortable end booths trying on pair after pair of shoes with running, screaming children all around.

HERE IS THE LINK TO THE SECTION JUST FOR LITTLE BOYS!!!
boy's shoes

Father's Day

2010-06-19T22:46:00.000-05:00

Growing up, Father's Day always meant Dad getting to get up early, and go fishing all day long with nobody bothering him. And when he arrived home, a huge meal was ready with his favorite foods and we all had to leave Dad alone the rest of the night. The day was his. But his alone. We didn't celebrate except for the early morning gifts made at home or bought by Mom on our weekly grocery shopping trip without Dad.

Now that we have kids of our own Father's Day has such a different meaning. My husband doesn't get to run off all alone on that day. We celebrate with a huge breakfast while he is getting to sleep in. Then we spend the day together as a family celebrating the joy of him being a father.

I have noticed that Father's Day like many other holidays has gotten to be so commercialized. Huge electronic gifts, grills or cars for dad. What happened to fishing lures or a box of his favorite candy? And people wonder why they are broke all the time.

If more families took out the gifts, they could save THOUSANDS of dollars a year. Birthdays, anniversaries, or special holidays like Mothers/Fathers Day are not meant for giving extravegent gifts. They are meant to be celebrated with family and friends. They are meant as a celebration of life. Not about gift giving.

This year my husband is getting a package of his favorite licorice and homemade cards from the kids as well as a nice big breakfast. And then we will spend the day enjoying our family. Sure he might get to lay in bed and watch a movie, but he deserves that. He works 50 plus hours a week and still comes home and finds time to play with the kids or do a load of laundry.

I love him for being such a wonderful father. I couldn't ask for more!

T-Ball and the FENCE

2010-06-19T21:40:00.000-05:00

So Damon had another T-ball game on Friday night. The teams are getting to be such good players, remembering to throw to first base, running home when the last batter hits and the most important part, teamwork.

Being my son, we always knew that he would be the one to get hurt, somehow, no matter what the event, he would be the one to get hurt. So far he has not let us down! And Friday was no different.

Now you may be thinking, oh the ball must have hit him or he fell down running the bases. NOPE! The poor child was chasing after the ball and ran INTO the fence, splitting open his forehead and leaving a nice little bruise as well. Of course he was upset that he didn't see the fence and was embarrassed but he got up, shook it off and went back to first base.

Everyone clapped for him and he felt a little bad that he completely missed the ball. But the game continued and he forgot all about it.

Going to my children's activities has always been so much fun. The only downer about going to these activities is the other people that are there. Some who bring family drama, some who come already drunk or some who don't show up at all but we hear about their non-presence throughout the entire game.
As a parent, I am ashamed of all the parents who come to these games to socialize and not cheer their child on. Why put your child into a sport if you aren't going to support them. Stand up and cheer when they are running bases, know when to keep quiet, like right when they are getting ready to swing the bat you don't scream something at your child.

Growing up I never realized how inconsiderate other parents really are and always wondered why my parents didn't have many friends in the town we lived in. But now as a parent, I realize that how people act in public really makes or breaks a friendship. Some of the people at the ball game were not even paying attention to the game and their children were playing. I am not asking parents to get right up to the fence and cheer and scream loudly for their children. But just standing around talking to your friends while your child hits the ball doesn't show the child you care. It shows them that you care enough to come, but only because you have to.

Family Ties

2010-06-10T22:30:00.000-05:00

Many times in life you find yourself at a standstill. You have goals, but no idea how to start achieving them. Are you looking to lose weight? Learn to eat healthier? Do you need someone to help you out in the motivation department? If so, I have just the person for you!!!!!!!! (man do I sound like a HSN chick! LOL)

I just wanted to take a moment to give a shoutout to my cousin Rita. She is an amazing woman who has come so far in life! She has recently lost over 100 pounds!!!!! She is such an inspiration and also is a motivated Beach Body coach!!! So I thought I would share with everyone her website, which will also become a permanent link on my side bar.

www.rita78.com

So check it out!!!

www.beachbodycoach.com/rita78

www.myshakeology.com/rita78

She also is an Avon consultant so if you need anything from Avon, check her out!!!!

RITA LUCERO
AVON Representative

http://ritalucero.avonrepresentative.com/

Support Your Farmers Markets!!!

2010-06-09T22:24:00.002-05:00

This is such a huge deal for everyone. I wish more people would take the time to go visit their local farmer's markets. You can find such amazing food and at great prices! Fresh fruit, veggies, herbs and there are sometimes even things like meat and eggs there. Everyone needs to take the time to go visit at least once a month and stock up on fresh food. Many of these places support organic and local growing so gather the family and head down to the local farmer's markets!!!

Mental Thinking

2010-05-28T01:54:00.000-05:00

I know that the last few years I constantly have put goals out there and then turned my back on them and walked away. I look back and regret that with everything I had handed to me, I walked away from the changes that I so desperately want and need.

For the last two weeks every night before bed I say to myself that I am going to get up early and do my work outs, yoga, something anything. But when the alarm goes off, I find myself shutting it off and sleeping that much longer. And then I spend the rest of the day hating myself for not doing what I wanted. So that night I do the same thing, but again, I find myself rolling back into bed and not caring. And every day I hate myself more and more and more because I can't even get up in the morning and work out like I know I need to. And here I sit, at 140 in the morning, watching Biggest Loser and feeling the hurt and the pain that these people have gone through. They were given a gift and they used it to their full potential. I was given a gift not only once, but like three times. And each time I just flushed it down.

And sitting here knowing that I have the tools necessary to make the life changes I want, is making me sick to my stomach that I can't even get up to do it. If I can't do this for myself, when will I ever be able to show my kids that I did something I set out to do.

Weight loss and getting healthy is not just a physical situation. Everything you need is pure mental. If you want something, all you have to do is fight for it. And that is what I plan to do. I have to do this. I need to do this. All of my life I have been the person to want to do something and then not care enough to do it. I told myself that this was the moment. This was it. If I am going to do this, now is the time to do it. I am not going to get up in the morning and work out only because its already 2am and I need to get sleep first. But tomorrow after work we are celebrating the last day of school by going out to eat. And my choices I make tomorrow will either make or break me. And I refuse to continue to let it break me. Here is to a new tomorrow. I want to get pregnant so badly for my guys and I want to be healthy doing it. So my first goal is 10 pounds by July 1st.

HERE WE GO!!!!!!!!!!

Garden time!!!

2010-05-18T00:21:00.000-05:00

So now that I am almost done with the garden I thought I would share what we are doing this year!!

The kids are super excited about the garden and love getting in the dirt with mom. Last year we had a nice garden, but because I was working two jobs, it was poorly taken care of and I didn't get near as much out of it as I wanted. So this year, now that I have a bit more free time, I am diving right in and growing all sorts of goodies!!!

So this year our list includes for veggies:
green beans
onions
lettuce
carrots
tomato plant
radishs
for the fruits this year we decided just to keep the strawberry patch
and for my herb garden this year:
thyme
rosemary
basil
lavender
cat grass
cilantro
dill

LAVENDER

ROSEMARY

STRAWBERRY PATCH

SWEET BASIL

THYME

We should have a pretty good crop this year and I can't wait to watch it start to grow. Our strawberry patch is blooming already and is huge this year!! Two weeks ago I planted most of the herbs. Tonight we did the carrots and onions and tomorrow night I will finish up with the green beans and dill and cat grass. The kids helped dig the rows, place the seeds, cover and top with organic natural fertilizer. This is locally made and extremely safe for kids and pets. There are NO chemicals and it is really plant friendly. The stuff works amazing!!!

I am super excited to get to see how the herbs turn out. Last year I did a batch of basil and it has been amazing to cook with. I am even more excited now that I have some really good herbs going and can't wait to start cooking with fresh herbs out of the garden!!!!! I also can't wait to get to the local farmer's market this year to take advantage of fresh, locally grown fruits and veggies. More people need to get down to the farmer's markets and buy from them. Almost all of the them are organic, chemical free and great tasting locally grown food. Can't ask for better!!!

If we all took advantage of local farmer's markets to buy our fruits and veggies, this would save a ton of fuel every year for the transportation of fruits and veggies across the country. And now with recent studies showing that certain pesticides cause ADHD in children, you can bet I am not buying my fruits and veggies from our local store again. People need to start paying attention to what they eat, read labels, check out where your food comes from. Grow your own in your yard. If you live in an area where you don't have room for a big garden, look into community gardens. These are places where you can rent spaces to build a garden. Most of the time people will have it all ready to go for you, you just need to get in there and plant and take care of the crops.

The Program

2010-05-17T23:43:00.000-05:00

To a four year old, things that are exciting can be something out of this world. For my daughter, it was THE PROGAM.

The history......................

Back when Damon was in preschool, Lili was just the tag along. When Damon had school events, she would come with me and watch from the sidelines with me, never getting to participate. We started Damon in a 3 year old preschool class in which he was in heaven. He enjoyed every single day of preschool. And in the spring, at the end of the school year, they hosted a program for the kids. Each class would sing 2-3 songs and it was just a fun thing for the kids to do at the end of the year to show their progress. Our school tapes the programs and sells the dvds to the family for a small price.

We tried to enroll Lili in the same class when she turned three. However, she failed to enjoy the class like Damon did. She cried every day when I dropped her off. She hated it. So after a month we pulled her out. That was Damon's year in the four year preschool class. His teacher is who Lili has currently.

Well, at the end of the year they hosted the program again. This time, Lili became infatuated with the program. And I am not talking just a normal healthy love for the music. This girl was OBSESSED! She watched the dvd day in and day out. She knew all of the lyrics to all of the songs, including the hand motions. She knew which class did which song and everything.

Fast forward to this fall. We enrolled her in the four year old preschool program and Damon moved to Kindergarten. She was lucky enough to get the same teacher that Damon had. And in the first few weeks, the teacher wore a beautiful necklace to school. And only my daughter recognized the necklace as the one she had worn the night of the program the previous spring. I am not joking. She ran up to the teacher and said (and I quote) "Mrs. H, Mrs. H.....you wore that necklace at the program!!!!" And Mrs. H was BLOWN away that she remembered that. So I had to explain how amazed she was for the program and how I think the only reason she came back to preschool was because she wanted to be in that program! LOL

So fast forward to this spring......the program has arrived. They have been practicing songs for months now. She let it slip which songs they were doing, so I was able to find video clips on YouTube for her to watch and help her do the hand motions. The big day arrives......

She gets to get all dolled up, hair cut and all. She puts on her pretty red dress and matching shoes. I put just a hint of make up on just to make her feel extra special. She is glowing like this is her wedding day! I am not joking!! She has been waiting all year to do this program.

We all gather in the auditorium and wait for the kids to come on stage. The lights go dim, the music starts and here they come!! They march down to the stage singing a song together. Lili never looked so proud!

The kids all did a really great job!!!! Lili's class sang the songs "I am a Pizza" and "Slippery Fish". She did everything perfect!!!! We could hear her from where we sat and we were so very proud!!!

On the way home, I mentioned that now that she would be going to kindergarten, she would never have another preschool program and she got a look on her face that was so funny. She looked at me and said, yes I will next year. And I had to remind her that she won't be in preschool next year but in Kindergarten. I explained that she would have a graduation from Kindergarten and that she would have a program for that and then everything was fine again.

It has now been 2 weeks since the program and we finally got the DVD back from her teacher. And of course, we watch it every single day! She is so proud of herself for singing and being a good girl on stage. But she loves to watch her friends even more.

I can't believe that this is it. My babies are all out of preschool. School comes to an end next week and we will say good bye to preschool and hello Kindergarten!

Soccer Mom

2010-05-11T21:28:00.000-05:00

Since I first found out I was pregnant seven years ago this month, I have always been excited for the time period in which I would get to be the soccer mom. And we are finally here!!!! Damon started soccer last month and has been playing every Saturday morning. They have only won one game, but none of them really care. They have all had a blast playing and it is so neat to see Damon be on a team.

He started practice back in April. They have practice two times a week on Tuesday and Thursday. At first, I wanted to stick around and make sure he was being good during practice, but by week 2, I realized that it was just me that needed to be there. So I started just leaving him at practice and going for a walk, or to the park with Lili. He is much better without me there.

Game days are so much fun!!! He has his cleats and shin guards on and his team shirt. They have a huddle at the beginning of the game and then they all just play their hardest. They are really very good about not using hands and making sure to keep the ball on their side of the field. Goalie is a difficult position at this age, but Damon really enjoys playing goalie.

His first game you could see the nervous feelings on his face. But he got out on the field and never let us down. He plays fair and really just gets into the game. He loves to play all the positions and by the fourth quarter, he is pooped from all the running.

I am so proud that I am raising a child to be a team player and one that doesn't worry about winning or losing. He is there to have fun!

There are only two games left of the season and this soccer mom is already going to miss it! I am hoping that next year he will want to go out again, but it will not be forced. Lili will be of age to play as well, so we may have two little soccer stars in the family!!!

GOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm BAAAACK!!!

2010-05-11T19:24:00.000-05:00

FINALLY!!!

I am finally getting a chance to get back into the blogging world. I have missed it so very much. So let's catch up.

Back in February I got a great job offer to work in the town we live in. After living here for 9 years, I finally got a job here in town! I quit my job that I was driving 30 miles one way to and started my new job. I really really enjoy what I do now. The only downside is that I work days. Its great for the kids but for me, its been a pain in the butt. I work from 8 to 5. Which makes the night go by so quickly. After supper, playing and baths, its already 10pm and then I have laundry and homework to do.

Homework.....yep still in college. I am on my third set of classes since starting last fall. We go all summer long and soon I will graduate! And it is so much cheaper than going to a four year school. I love college and really glad that I did this!

Kids are doing great. Damon has been playing soccer this spring. He loves it and really is good!! We have games every Saturday morning and his final game is on May 22nd. That is the day after he graduates from Kindergarten!!!! WOW my baby is growing up! He will be seven this year and its crazy to think that seven years go this month we found out we were expecting. I still remember the phone call I made to my mother in law. I had to call her from work in Sioux City to tell her cause I was afraid she would be mad. Seven years later and four grandkids later, she is still as happy as that first day she held Damon.

Liliann finishes preschool in a few weeks. I know I will cry. Her teacher has been in our "family" since Damon had her last year. She has been nothing but an angel and we are blessed to have had her in our children's lives. She is amazing and I wish that every kid could have a teacher like her. This world would be a much better place if all teachers had her positive teaching ideas and her amazing attitude!! I will miss her very much. Lili had her school program...I plan on doing a blog post just about that, because it was soooo awesome!!

Ryan got a new bike. Well...not new, but he traded a friend. His friend wanted a bike for his wife so he gave Ryan his big bike and Ryan got rid of his smaller one. So now we have a nice big bike that is roomy and rides like a dream. We've only really ridden once this year, it still hasn't really warmed up enough to ride yet.

And....let's see.............what else.....oh yea....I am matched again for a surrogacy journey. After everything that happened before Christmas, I really never thought I would get a chance to do this again. I let many people down and felt like maybe it would never happen. But the surrogacy bug has bitten down and won't let go. So I did some soul searching, had some very long talks with Ryan and we decided that if I do this, it will be the last time. SO I rushed online and talked to some people and found myself with a great agency. They sent me a profile of a set of IF's and we have been talking ever since. They are great guys and I can't wait to make them daddies!!!!

That seems to be it for now...gotta get some homework done.....

Children and their hopes

2010-02-06T10:05:00.001-06:00

When I was a child, I told everyone that my goal in life was to be a mom. I wanted to have lots of kids, raise them on a farm where there was tons of room to play. I wanted to have horses and teach them to ride. I wanted a husband who was not only a great partner in life, but an amazing father, but hot and knew how to dance and sing. Yes, those were my requirements.

Today, Liliann came into the bedroom as Ryan and I were watching CSI. She had two of her baby dolls in her arms, with her pretend diaper bag and both of the babies in matching outfits. She wanted me to notice that they had on matching dresses. I asked her, do you want 2 babies like that at a time? She said yep, when I get to be a grownup I am going to grow babies in my belly and have two. But then she took it back and said, no I just want pretend babies. I about died! Yep, two real babies at the same time is hard work. She said she liked pretend babies better.

I actually looked at Ryan and said we are going to have pretend babies as grandchildren! LOL He laughed and said yea sure. I just had to chuckle that at 26, I was actually thinking about becoming a grandmother. What in the world is wrong with me!? But we got a good laugh out of the deal.

Then later we were talking to Lili about preschool. Ryan asked her if she was sad that she didn't have preschool. She looked at him and with a very definate shake of the head said no. I like staying home she claimed. I told Ryan, she is going to be just like you. Goes to school because she has to. Damon on the other hand, loves to go to school and is totally bummed when they don't have school. He loves school and enjoys everything about it. From lunch to recess, from art to music. He just loves it!! I wish I could secretly watch him all day. See how he interacts with the teacher and his classmates. Watch as he raises his hand to answer questions and watch as he enjoys lunch with his friends. See who he plays with at recess and what activities he likes to do in art. I want him to grasp this liking of school and hopefully he carries it with him clear up through college.

I loved school. Always did. But I became lazy because the people I hung out with were not good in school. Some where, but not all. So instead of busting my butt and proving myself. I did what was required and stayed "cool" with my friends. I got great grades. And honestly only did really crappy on purpose. Like gym. I failed it. Why you ask, its just gym? I didn't go. Not once. I hated gym. I wanted to be in music. I hated the PE teacher. Thought the games were crap and so I didn't go. I went to the band room instead and worked on independent music theory.

Ryan on the other hand went to school only because it was mandatory. He didn't hate it, but it bored him. He would much rather work than go to school.

I missed it so much I went back! LOL I am currently enrolled in college and love that I get to use my brain again. Although there are days where I just look at the screen and groan cause I have to try and get through another essay or stupid quiz. But I know that I need to get through this so I can have my degree in accounting. I want to be able to move up instead of just sitting here. I don't want to be stuck in a crap job for 20 years doing the same thing as when I first started. I want to move up and better myself and have better opportunities for my family. I want to be able to put my kids through college if they want to go. I want to make sure they can go out for sports or band and not have to worry about every single event being a financial issue.

And this week made those dreams much more of a reality. On Wednesday, I had an interview at a business located right in the town I live in. I have been trying since 2002 to get on some place in town so I wouldn't have to drive. It is now 2010. Eight years it took. But I finally have a job in town. I had the interview and an hour, AN HOUR later they called me and let me know they chose me!!! I was freaking so excited!!!

Sadly, I have to put in notice here where I am at currently. I really hate having to tell people that I don't want to be here anymore. I hate knowing that because I am leaving, other people's schedules are going to be completely out of whack. I hate feeling guilty that I am causing issues for other people. But honestly, I have to think of not only my family, but myself as well. I need to make sure that I don't pass on this opportunity because it means a huge change for the family. I will be home every single night with my husband and kids. I will get to see every single one of their events at school and any sports they will play. I missed every single tball game last summer. It was my son's first year and I was heartbroken that I couldn't take just one night off to watch him play. But because of my hours, its hard to get replaced when I need the time off. For example, let's look at earlier this week. On Friday I had asked off for Tuesday night, knowing I had my interview on Wednesday morning. I didn't want to get home between 2-3am and have to be up for the kids to go to school at 730 and then head to my interview looking like crap. Well they got pissy about not giving them enough time notice. That kind of crap irritates the piss out of me because I didn't know 2 weeks ahead of time that this was going to happen. Things come up. And just like right now. Someone who doesn't even work in this department, tries to do my job for me, because he is bored and has nothing else better to do. While the help should be appreciated, it isn't. I am bored out of my mind (hence the long blog post) and other people beat me to my own job. I mean COME FREAKING ON! And I can't say anything to anyone because he is the "pet" of the supervisor's up here in this office and his daddy has worked here 20 years.

Anyways...I just get so frustrated with small things like that. Even though I know the grass is not greener on the other side as well. There are going to be things at the new job that will irritate me. But I know that this is something I can do and work my way up out of. I know that I can make this a career. I honestly thought that this job I have right now was going to be the career of my life. But because of the drive and the hours, I knew that at somepoint it was going to come to an end. I thought it would be a few years out. Only because I never thought I would get an opportunity like I got this week this soon. I really thought it would be after I got my degree that I would finally land a job in my town.

So that goes to show ya...never stop hoping. Never give up. Know that sometimes, positive things do happen if you want them to. You just have to be patient and know that things will happen when they are supposed to.

monday

2010-02-02T13:18:00.001-06:00

Today is Monday, February 1st. Wow how things have changed in a year. Last year at this time, I was so.....lost but yet knowing where I wanted to be. I knew that I had to overcome the codependency issues I was having and I knew that I wanted to strength my marriage and my family by growing myself into a better person.

I am now a full time college student working on my degree. I have a full time job with amazing benefits, including tuition reimbursement that helps pay for the degree. Ryan and I have been communicating 10x more than we ever have in our marriage and I am thankful for that. I am still unstable. I still need help. But I know now that turning my back on my problems will get me no where. I need to stand tall and fight back against the power.

One of my resolutions I set at the beginning of the year was to get myself healthy and lose weight. I can hear you saying, but everyone says that. Well you're right. Everyone does set goals like that at the beginning of the year. I set that same goal last year. At one point I was losing weight, but after the depression sank in, I didn't go anywhere with that goal. And so this year I am getting ready to surpass that goal. I have been chosen to represent our town in a 6 person Extreme Weightloss Competition that starts this Thursday. I go for my meeting on Thursday and get weighed in and do all the measurements and such. I am extremely excited about this and can't wait to start kicking some butt and looking great and FEELING great. I have been so tired and run down over the last 2 months that I need energy, I need something like this to get me going. And to be chosen is such an honor!! I get a free pass to all the classes going on down at the rec center and it's all followed on the radio. I will post the website so you guys can follow my journey and see how well I do!!!

Well, better do an update on everyone since it is a new year and a new month.

Damon is doing amazing in school. He loves to go and has hated that they have missed so much school this year due to weather. First it was blizzards and then ice storms and then fog and then more blizzard and then more ice. Iowa has been crazy this year for winter weather. He had a great 6th birthday, enjoying bowling with five of his friends from school. He has been enjoying all the gifts from Christmas, especially the Wii they got. He is learning to read and struggling with tying his shoes. He does really well with numbers and also with art. He struggles with leadership skills, which I had to chuckle about because I believe in my kindergarten book it talks about my issues with being a leader and being "bossy" I think is the exact word to describe me. Damon takes after me a lot! Especially when it comes to school. Lili takes after her dad. She goes because she has to, enjoys her time and then comes home. He is getting very excited for spring to come so he can head outside and play again.

Liliann is growing up so fast. A year ago you couldn't understand half of what was coming out of her mouth. Now, after speech therapy sessions, her speech is getting so much better and she takes the time to say the words instead of just rushing through what she wants to say. She has grown so tall and beautiful in just a year. She is going to be a rebel though that one. She is very tough, knows what she wants and when she wants it. She has to be in charge...sadly, she gets that from me as well. The feeling of always having to be in control. Hopefully she learns to harness that power and use it in a positive way instead of letting it be something that holds her back in life.

Ryan is still at Gomaco on the loading dock. He is very ready for spring so he can ride again.

That is pretty much it on the update front.

I AM BACK!

2010-01-29T16:11:00.001-06:00

I AM BACK!!!!

After a while of taking some time off due to personal healing...I am back!!!!!! And super excited about it too! I will start posting again on Monday, taking the weekend off from the computer except for homework.

Why Blog?

2009-12-27T19:26:00.003-06:00

Why the blog?

Some people have asked me why I blog. Sometimes I tell them just because I feel like it. But when they ask me why I don't just journal where it stays private, I don't ever have a response. Honestly, I think it is laziness. I don't like to write. I can type mega fast so I can do a blog entry in less than 10 minutes sometimes and not have to work my hands all that much. I can blog from the road, blog from work. I don't have to restrain myself from just journaling. I can talk on many subjects and touch the minds of others.

I had to resetup the blog because of events that led to a bit of drama. I worked on that blog for almost a year. I saved all of it of course and plan on putting it all together into a sort of journal/diary to save for the kids to read when they are older and I am gone. I want them to know me, not just as their mother, but as a person. Someone who not only cared about what they ate, when they took a bath or how they did on their homework. I want them to see me with a soul and baring it to the world, unafraid and ready to take on whatever comes my way.

I have made sure that up until this point, they are leading lives different than what mine was. And I don't do that because I am ashamed of my past, the past is what made me into the person I am today. But I do that because every parent wants better for their children. I hope I never have to come home to a crying child because someone at school made fun of them for not having name brand clothes or not being able to go to something because there wasn't money to do so. I want to give my children the world. I want to teach them about life and love, I want their education to not be just school related, I want them to learn about nature, religions, people, life in general. A school can only teach a child lessons put into a book. It takes someone to care to teach things about life. I hope to be the type of mother who can be trusted and not feared. I want my kids to come to me about things, I don't want them to run to someone else. I want them to ask me questions not be scared of how I will answer. I want them to trust me and respect me, but I also want to be able to trust and respect them.

So blogging is my way of showing my children, the past, but today. I want them to be able to read these and remember me. The way I ramble, the way I talk about one subject and move onto something so different in just 2 sentences and the way I thought. I want them to read this after I am gone and be able to hear my voice speaking the words. My children are my love. I blog for them.

But I also blog for me. When I was younger I kept a diary. Though with three other siblings and two protective parents, I am sure that it was read daily by someone other than me. I love to write and recording the things that I think, help my mind clear. Its almost a mini therapy session without the costly couch. So by blogging I am able to freely think, show the world the inside of my head without feeling like I am venting on any one person in particular. And if people follow, I shall continue to write. If nobody follows, I shall continue to write. For I don't write for them. I don't write for the audience. I write for me.

Handing you Life

2009-12-27T19:26:00.001-06:00

Life hands you things that you think you can't handle. But as I sit here and ponder, if we work past the situation handed to us, doesn't that make us stronger? What life would you rather live, the one where you free ride it all the way through, or the one where you prove to yourself and others around you how strong you are. Personally, I used to think that a free ride through life would be great. Just going at my own pace, no structure or rules. But after the last few years of my life, I think that the road less traveled is the way I will go.

So when something is thrown at me, I know that I can take what is given to me and make it into something that I can not only handle, but come out on top. Sometimes things won't be perfect, but nothing in life is exactly "perfect".

When you are handed something you think you can't handle, step back and think about it. Why can't you handle it? Does your mind automatically go into the mode that you aren't strong enough to handle it? You may have been handed every thing you think possible, but there is always something worse that could happen. Be grateful for what you do have. Don't just sit back and let life pass you by without a fight.

Most of the time, the situations that are thrown our way, are the situations that we create, whether or not you think you do. And not everything, obviously if you are dealt with an illness, you didn't create the illness, it just happened. Unless you are a smoker and you get lung cancer or something like that, but otherwise with illness, you can't blame yourself. Stuff happens like that.

But in my case, I created my own situation. I knew the consequences and at the time, didn't think beyond my actions. Which for me, is totally out of character, because normally I am the one overthinking the situation. But for once, I acted immaturely and for that I am currently paying. I put everything on the line and lost so much in such a short period of time.

Instead of retreating, closing the doors and hiding within, this time, I stood up, accepted the consequences and I am now trying to heal and mend those who I hurt. Too many times in my life I have retreated inside myself, making excuses and hiding behind lies. But this time I refuse to do that. This time I am a different person. I will not go back to that person I was a year ago. I didn't like that person then and I really hate who I was now. But I can't change the past, nobody can. I can't change what I did and I can't fix the problems I had. But what I am going to do is be there for the person I hurt the most, try and take time to heal myself and most importantly never stop letting my children have access to their mother.

Christmas is upon us. Take the time to release the demons. Let go of everything over the next few weeks so that when New Years Day is here, you can literally start fresh. Don't worry about what you can't fix, you aren't going to be able to fix everything. You may not like the consequences that come with your demons coming out, but sooner or later they will escape. And it will be a lot easier to deal with everything now, then have it slam into you while you are living life to the fullest. You never know what you can lose until it is already gone.

Life is just that. Life. You can take the easy road, lay flat and never have anything come of your life. Or you can take the road less traveled, have stories to tell along the way and learn things from those you never expected to teach. I think I will stick with the second choice.

Celebrating the season part one

2009-12-12T09:47:00.001-06:00

Celebrating the season.....

Away in a manger..............

God rest ye merry gentlemen...............

Silent Night, Holy Night.........

Christmas is almost here. My mixed feelings on this holiday make it one of the toughest holidays to celebrate in a way. Growing up as a strong Catholic, Christmas was always something special. We went to church, did all the stuff that goes along with being a Catholic at Christmas time, including the candles and all of that. I remember standing up with my class choir singing some of the above songs.

But as an adult I sit and wonder......what really happened? Many people have said that Jesus was not even born at this time of year and have proof that shows the truth. I know that people make think I am a follower when I say that I believe them. But there are many things that point the way to the truth. So why is it such a big deal in regards to his birth being celebrated? His birth isn't even in the Bible! Something as important as the virgin birth isn't even located in the bible. WHY?

The answer really is simple. Many can't understand....they believe what they have always been told and they don't question those answers. But I believe what happened was that Christianity was becoming the new growing religion. People were becoming followers by the hundreds. They were flocking to the one they called Christ. Hearing stories of his healings and his preaching. I think rulers at the time seen a political step that would change the world forever. I believe that at the time, the leaders did setup the holidays of the Christian church to sync with the old religious paths of those living in the regions they were taking over. Spring Equinox and Eostoer became Easter. Samhain became All Saint's Day. Yule/Winter Solstice became Christmas. This made transforming those who were practicing with the ways of the Earth to easily transition over to Christianity without really changing many things. The times of the year stayed the same, and some of the practices even came with it. Yule log is not a Christian item that came with Christmas. A yule log came with Yule. I mean duh... how can you get more plain than that?

Most traditions of any major Christian holiday was some how passed down from other religions. They added in their story of Christ and made it their celebration.

So for me celebrating Christmas turned from a religious holiday to a commercial celebration. We buy the tree and decorate the hosue. I send xmas cards and enjoy christmas music. I bake lots of goodies for friends and family. We have multiple gift giving celebrations where we eat lots of yummy food and enjoy family. We tell the kids about Santa and let them play in the fantasy of that. But we don't bring up the birth of Christ. We don't celebrate him at all in our house. We are not Christian. I will not explain any of this until the children are a bit older. I do not believe in shoving religion down children at a young age. I believe at 4 and 6 their minds are not developed enough to understand faith and religion. In a few years when their friends at school start going to church and talking about it, then we will sit and talk about our religious choices and what the kids want to do. If they chose to attend a church service or class with a friend, I will allow it so he can learn. But I will not stand by and watch them change my son by sending him messages that he can be "saved". There is no such thing as saving someone. You can change their mind, you can help them through tough times. You can save a person from destroying their life, and maybe that is what people think when they use that term. Maybe they are in a dark place unsure of what to do and they are brought to faith and religion

First Snowstorm of the Year

2009-12-10T10:46:00.001-06:00

The first snowstorm of the season has hit. It has the house on lockdown pretty much. Damon and Lili are home from school. I am home from work. The wind is blowing like crazy! The snow is pouring out of the sky. Drifts are feet high against some buildings.

I am happy to say we are all safe. I tried to head to work, but failed. So Ryan had to come get me. The kids were excited to have mom home. We had chicken noodle soup for supper with grilled cheese sandwiches. I made a pan of cheesecake brownies for them to snack on. I enjoyed a cup of hot cocoa after the kids went to bed. We watched the movie with Ben Stiller and the Smithsonian Museum. It was a good movie. All four of us were laying in our king sized bed enjoying the movie and staying warm. Later in the evening they cancelled school so I knew the kids could sleep in.

So this morning we all slept in and then we got up and had eggs and toast for breakfast. Then all hell broke loose and I remember why I love having my children go to school. They fought over EVERYTHING! We started playing PS3 and Damon got mad cause Lili doesn't know how to play and he screams at her and then hits her. So we shut it off and he sat in time out. Lili dumped her moon sand she had gotten as a gift all over the dining room floor..not once but twice. And ground it in the rug because she was walking around in her boots. But they both ate a nice lunch of mac and cheese and chicken strips and were good the rest of the day. Lili even took a nice long nap. I was able to get some laundry done and some dishes.

Ryan had to come home and shovel us out. Poor man is beat right now. He said he is ready for bed so the kids are going to bed early so he can get to bed himself. I made it to work no problem. There were some spots that were touchy, but NOTHING even close to last night. Hopefully my drive home is okay tonight. I am glad we invested in cell phones cause they have already helped us out big time.

I'm glad that we live in a small town, with the comfort of knowing everyone and what not, but Iowa sucks this time of year! I hate driving in this stuff and part of me is ready to get the heck out of the snow range. Ryan said he if goes anywhere it will be south enough to where there is no snow. I said what Florida? He said sure..I was like uh no, they have hurricanes, not gonna happen. I would be happy in like South Carolina. Warm enough where there isn't blizzards like this, but there can still be snow every few years and that way the kids can still play in the snow. But I know that is just a dream.

New Blog

2009-12-09T11:06:00.001-06:00

Due to recent "events" the original blog has been LOCKED DOWN!

So I am starting a new blog. This blog will not have names that can be google searched, hopefully it doesn't show any of my information. I am deleting the other blog so they are not connected. After today the other one will no longer be accessible.

I hope that those who followed before will now follow here. Thanks for sticking by me!!!